Sax Crimes

Sax & mullet: A classy combination

Summer in Perth is characterized by a glut of music festivals and international acts playing at venues all over the city - from footy ovals to wineries - and one such act that will be hitting our shores over the next few weeks is the great blues/rock slide-guitarist George Thorogood, and his backing band The Delaware Destroyers.
I was reminded of this fact by the announcer just before "Bad To The Bone" kicked off on the radio - the highlight of George's 30+ years in the biz - a mean Muddy Waters riff played on slide guitar, over-layed with an abundance of extremely boastful, and very cheesy, lyrics. All is well until approximately the half-way point of the song, when suddenly Hank "Hurricane" Carter steps up to take a solo. Normally "taking a solo" has positive connotations in the world of Rock & Roll, however this case is an exception, due to the fact that "Hurricane" Carter is the group's..... saxophone player.

Thorogood in his trademark snakeskin bandana

Before I continue I must clarify one thing. I have no issue with the saxophone per se. Being a jazz fan I highly admire the work of John Coltrane, Wayne Shorter and Cannonball Adderley (especially their work with the Miles Davis Quintet in the 50's & 60's), but when the instrument is used in rock & roll I find that (in general), the terms "taste" and "restraint" seldom apply to the group Sax-shredder.

The lead guitarist and drummer (and yes, even the occasional bass player) can look cool on stage tearing into a solo - sometimes with grace, sometimes with superfluous showmanship - but inexplicably this never seems to be the case for the sax player. Come time to take a solo, the sax player normally takes a few lumbering, Frankenstein-like steps forward to centre stage and proceeds to stink up the place with a series of baffling sound-farts which instantly undo all groove & good vibes that the band has worked so hard to lay down.

Spandau Ballet: Wanted for sax crimes

In visual terms, the sax player is also normally the weakest link in the band. There's nothing appealing about the sight of a saxophonist in mid-solo. More often than not there is limited movement, an excess of sweat, and throbbing temple veins working overtime, while the offenders cheeks swell to a size that would make Dizzy Gillespie run for cover. The occasional throwing back of the head, alternated with the forward low stoop seem to be the extent of the sax player's choreographed repertoire, which usually is enough movement to get the obligatory mullet swaying in the breeze. The dress-standard for the sax player also alternates between two extremes: the working-class jeans-&-tank-top look, and the colourfully-loud-&-tacky suit. The aesthetically-challenged nature of the sax player has no greater manifestation than in the form of one Scott Page, the sax player who toured the world with Pink Floyd in the late 1980's. Sadly, it appears that the internet is unable to yield a single image of "The Billy Ray Cyrus of Sax", but the attached YouTube snippet should provide some sense of the grotesqueness of this 80's saxophonist in "full-flight":

[WARNING: VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. GRATUITOUS MULLET DISPLAY]

Zoot: Sax is his axe

No other musician on a rock & roll stage has the ability to polarize an audience the way the sax player does. While there are some notable exceptions (Dick Parry's work with 70's Pink Floyd, and Zoot from The Muppet Show being two examples), when it comes to playing , the old musicians maxim "Less is More" seems to be thrown out the proverbial window. On listening to a sax solo you get the sense that the aim of the player is to cram as many notes into their allocated solo time as possible, leaving no room for the other instruments to breathe, while giving all physical indications that they are passing a particularly painful kidney stone. This is unfortunate because many good songs over the years have been ruined (or unnecessarily dated) by the inclusion of a sax solo. All songwriters / bands / producers should be warned about this: think twice before mixing in that saxophone track. A poor choice is the aural equivalent of paint-balling the roof of the Sistene Chapel. Why graffiti the masterpiece? If you have a song that is melodically strong and has obvious commercial potential, then proceed with the saxophone overdub at your peril.

Baker Street: Tasteful sax in rock?

One guy who got it right was Gerry Rafferty (who sadly passed away last month), with his monster 1978 hit "Baker Street". It has possibly the most famous saxophone riff in pop music history and it's success led to a barrage of "sax crimes" in the 1980's. As good as the song was/is, spare a thought for how much more epic it could have been if the main sax riff was replaced by a Clapton-esque guitar? The Foo Fighters tried to give us a taste of "what might have been" with a cover version B-side in 1997, albeit with mixed results. Similarly, Mark Knopfler's early 80's instrumental "Going Home (Theme From Local Hero)" is another great example of a well used saxophone hook, but again, if Knopfler's celtic-influenced guitar work had been at the fore of the mix, in place of the sax, it would have elevated the song to a new level.

"Saxamaphone... saxamaphone..."

With all of the above said, I think it's now my civic duty to establish the world's first International Sax Crime Name & Shame Registry. To move forward as a society we must first recognize the mistakes of the past, learn from history, and do whatever is in our power to stop these atrocities ever happening again.

(Note: When compiling lists such as these, there are bound to be "serial re-offenders", hence the duplicated appearances of INXS & Tina Turner):

INTERNATIONAL SAX CRIME REGISTER

• Family Ties Opening Theme Song
• Anything by Kenny G
• George Michael - Careless Whisper
• Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark
• Hall & Oates - I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)
• Billy Joel - It's Still Rock & Roll To Me
• INXS  - What You Need
• Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On
• Dire Straits - Your Latest Trick
• Tina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero
• Madness - It Must Be Love
• Spandau Ballet - True
• Donna Summer - She Works Hard For The Money
• Men At Work - Who Can It Be Now?
• Rick James - Super Freak
• Foreigner - Urgent
• David Bowie - Moden Love
• Roxy Music - Jealous Guy
• Billy Ocen - Carribean Queen
• Sade - Smooth Operator
• Icehouse - Electric Blue
• INXS - Never Tear Us Apart
• Beach Boys - Kokomo
• Tina Turner - Simply The Best

This list is far from complete. I urge anyone reading to post any offenders I have left out.

It's time for us all to do our bit. Think of us as the "Neighbourhood Watch of Bad Sax"....